This is a tough one. I can tell you what I do but it may not be what you want to do or what feels good to you. It takes trial and error and practice makes perfect and nothing worth having comes easy. Or should I say CUM?
Starting out I would go with something small and manageable. Here are a few ideas.
First browse - here is the amazon site specifically for toys - https://amzn.to/49rz9Un
I like to have separate toys for my clit and vagina. I like the control. the downfall is both hands are busy. If you want to stimulate anything else you will have to add hands free items such as butt plugs or nipple clamps, etc.
This one is compact, easy to use in different places, and won't freak you out if it's your first - https://amzn.to/3vHDipf
I have always enjoyed the clitoral stimulators that create a sucking sensation - here is an example - https://amzn.to/43KJr0u - it can also be used on nipples...
I also like the tongue and finger shaped vibrators - https://amzn.to/3TOyuGR
Have a happy hour and ask your friends. Open conversations about what makes us feel good can be silly and informing. They also take some of the shame away. We were made super sexual beings and our sexuality has been reduced to pleasing others. Let's open the conversation. If you have a moment to share with out community that would be wonderful.
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